Signs Your Parent Needs Help at Home

Schedule a free in-home assessment · Call (760) 720-7740, available 24/7

Signs around the house

Walk through the home with fresh eyes. These are common signs a parent is having a harder time than they're letting on:

• Spoiled or expired food in the fridge, or very little food at all

• Unpaid bills, late notices or piles of unopened mail

• A messier house than usual, or laundry and dishes stacking up

• Missed or doubled-up medications

• New dents or scrapes on the car

• Plants, pets or the yard being neglected

Changes in your parent

Pay attention to the person, not just the house:

• Weight loss, or skipping meals because cooking has become too much

• Wearing the same clothes for days, or less bathing and grooming

• Bruises or mentions of a fall they "didn't want to worry you about"

• Unsteady walking, holding onto furniture, or trouble getting out of a chair

• Pulling away from friends, church or activities they used to enjoy

• More confusion, worry or irritability than usual

Memory changes to take seriously

Everyone forgets a name now and then. These are different, and worth a call to your parent's doctor:

• Asking the same question again and again in one conversation

• Getting lost on a familiar drive or walk

• Trouble following a recipe, a TV show or a monthly bill

• Leaving the stove on, the door unlocked or the water running

• Confusion about the day, the season or where they are

• Being more restless or agitated in the late afternoon and evening

• Getting up at night and trying to leave the house

Only a doctor can tell you what is causing memory changes, so start there. If it is Alzheimer's or another dementia, our pages on Alzheimer's and dementia care, sundowning and overnight care and wandering and safety supervision explain what help at home looks like.

Signs the family caregiver needs help, too

Sometimes the person who needs help is the spouse or sibling doing the care. If your dad is caring for your mom and he's exhausted, skipping his own appointments or up every night, that counts. Our guide to caregiver burnout and respite covers the signs.

How to talk with your parent about help

• Start early and keep it low-key. A calm talk over coffee goes better than a family meeting after a crisis.

• Lead with what they want. Most parents want to stay in their own home. Help at home is often what makes that possible.

• Start small. A few hours a week for errands, meals or a drive to appointments can open the door.

• Bring in their doctor if memory or safety is the worry.

• Pick one family point person so updates and decisions don't get lost between siblings.

If you live far away, see our guide to caring for a parent from out of state. For help comparing agencies, read questions to ask a home care agency.

When it's time to call

It's time to talk with a home care agency when:

• Your parent can't be left alone safely, even for part of the day

• There has been a fall, a hospital stay or a big change in memory

• Nights have become the problem, with wandering or getting up often

• The family caregiver is worn out

• You're worried every time the phone rings

How Heritage Senior Care helps

• A free in-home assessment to meet your parent, walk through the home and talk about routines, memory and safety.

• One written care plan that every caregiver on the schedule follows.

• Our caregivers are W-2 employees of Heritage Senior Care, Inc. We hire, train, schedule and supervise them ourselves.

• Dementia and 24-hour care are our focus, with shifts from 8 to 24 hours plus overnight shifts.

• A 4-hour visit minimum and no long-term contracts, so you can add hours, cut back or pause care.

• Phone answered 24/7 at (760) 720-7740.

All scheduling is handled from our one office at 2111 Palomar Airport Road in Carlsbad, and our caregivers work in homes across North County San Diego. Learn more about 24-hour care, 24-hour dementia care at home and respite care.

Questions about when a parent needs help

What are the signs an elderly parent needs help at home?

Common signs are spoiled food or an empty fridge, unpaid bills, missed medications, weight loss, less bathing or grooming, unexplained bruises or falls, and pulling away from friends. Memory changes, like repeating questions or getting lost on a familiar drive, are also important to notice.

How do I know if it's normal forgetfulness or something more?

Forgetting a name now and then is common. Repeating the same question in one conversation, getting lost in familiar places, or leaving the stove on are worth raising with your parent's doctor. Only a doctor can say what is causing memory changes.

When is it time to get in-home care?

It's time when your parent can't be left alone safely, after a fall or hospital stay, when nights become hard, or when the family caregiver is worn out. Starting with a few hours a week before a crisis is easier for everyone.

My parent says they don't need help. What can I do?

Start small and lead with what they want, which is usually staying at home. A few hours a week for errands, meals or rides can feel like support rather than a loss of independence. Their doctor can also help with the conversation.

What does a home caregiver do?

Our caregivers help with bathing, dressing, meals, light housekeeping, medication reminders, rides to appointments and errands, and company. For someone with dementia, they keep a steady routine and redirect gently. Heritage provides non-medical home care.

What is the minimum visit length?

Visits have a 4-hour minimum. Families can choose a few visits a week, longer daily shifts, overnight shifts or 24-hour care.

Are your caregivers employees?

Yes. Our caregivers are W-2 employees of Heritage Senior Care, Inc. We hire, train, schedule and supervise them ourselves.

Where can families in San Diego County get more support?

Alzheimer's San Diego (858-492-4400) and the Alzheimer's Association 24-hour helpline (800-272-3900) help families dealing with memory changes. The county's Aging & Independence Services Call Center is 800-339-4661.

How do I get started?

Call (760) 720-7740, available 24/7, or request a free assessment. We'll meet you and your parent at home, talk about what's changed, and put together a written care plan. You can also send us a note.

Help your parent stay safe at home. Free assessment · (760) 720-7740 (24/7) · Office Mon–Fri 9 am–4 pm · 2111 Palomar Airport Rd Ste 120, Carlsbad, CA 92011